I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
