I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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