Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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