I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
