I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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