No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
