And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize