The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
