I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
