Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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