I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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