OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
being pregnant is like rehab
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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