If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize