WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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