Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
