and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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