I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
