Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Holy sore nipples Batman
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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