Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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