I cut my penus on the lid.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
