end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will be naked everywhere
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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