i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
