I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize