Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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