sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
