Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
