I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
