I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
