Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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