I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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