my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
