try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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