I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
