Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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