I have demons in me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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