I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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