He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
