Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize