we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
