Sponge bath it is.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
