I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
