the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
