did you get engaged???
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
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Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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