Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
