So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
