I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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