I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
