Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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