I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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