am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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