just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
