i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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