Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
