we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
