He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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