she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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