he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
