Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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