He had one of those small greek statue penises
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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