Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
