Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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