It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
