PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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