was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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